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Before the Sun rises
Love is the real insight. I just have to see it! I’m rooted in the past. I can’t get rid of it! Everyone is caught in the maelstrom of life. It sucks me in and spits me out again! I’m just a fragment of myself. They’re scattered all over the place! Emotion makes an impression.…
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An exotic imagination
I’m looking over the landscape. I can see forests and hills, lots of houses and a mountain range. It’s the Alps. I’m sitting next to an exotic plant on the balcony, and my imagination starts to go back in time. Where there were more forests, wild forests, and no houses, but yes, the Alps. Deer,…
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A note to a friend…
Hey Amigo! Once again, my night break is announced in the light of smoke and health. I love to stay up two or three hours after 2 am. I just read a newspaper article about losing weight. Yes, another big concern in my life. One thing is clear to me if I can’t somehow make…
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Schizo revealed!
Currently, I’m attending a seminar somewhere in the German-speaking part of Switzerland. In English, it’s called “Coming out Proud” – It’s all about stigma, understanding it, and holding against it – with empowerment. However, I really don’t want to go through the material of that seminar with you. But I’d like to point out two…
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The ONE
In my deep There is longing For belonging To the ONE force That compels me And navigates me Throughout life Deep is its seeking For a fleshy and spiritual experience Drawn to contradictions Looking for its insight Deep is the despair of not belonging To the longing that persists Throughout the journey We call life…
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Views on canvas become a worldview
A point of view, or in a broader sense a worldview is to me like a painting that is never quite finished. There’s always a spot with fresh paint in it where I can continue to paint my notions and beliefs in a new way. It’s advisable to keep this place rather small since too…
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Seen from the cozy chair
In the Christian world, it is Easter Sunday in 2022. The Islamic world is in the middle of Ramadan. And whatever else may be going on, the whole human world is going through a difficult period. Or should I say, continues to…? Covid-19 is still a big issue, and since Russia attacked Ukraine on February…
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My thirst in this world
In this world: Some celebrate, some cry, some feel eloquent, some suffer, some give birth to new lives, some kill lives. I don’t know how I can find peace in this world. I want to live with passion. I want it to be the fire I feel every day. It shall wake me, elevate me…
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Plant trees by searching with Ecosia
Ecosia.org – a search engine I’ve known for a while. But yeah, with Google being around all the time, I forgot about it again. What’s great about it is that it searches well and that those folks use their income to plant trees. I think it might be worth checking out for you. I love…
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Imagination
Wellness tool? I guess for me; it’s listening to music and letting my imagination flow. Sometimes I move along with the music, but I wouldn’t call it dancing. I let my emotions move freely and allow my deepest desires to come up to the surface of my mind. Ever since my early childhood, living in a fantasy world has been a part of me. This…
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100% for 100%
On September 27, 2020, Swiss voters approved the procurement of new fighter jets. By an extremely narrow margin of 50.1% to 49.9%. A rejection of the deal would probably have meant quite a crisis of purpose for the army. Because logically, it needs a protective shield. I rejected the bill simply because of the volume.…
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The fire burns on
I have been going to psychotherapy regularly for many years. It is one of those measures that helps me to cope better with my mental illness. At the very beginning, I was very skeptical. I didn’t think I would feel comfortable going to therapy. Then a relapse into psychosis made me try it. That was…
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December is coming
In a few days, December 2020 will begin. The earth is slowly but surely turning towards the end of the year, or in other words, towards a new year. Perhaps the view of the half-empty and half-full glass is hidden in it. This year will be remembered by many people as the Corona Year. The…
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The Swiss Prison Photo Project by P. Schulthess
A few days ago, I met a friend in Berne, the Swiss capital city. Previously we had agreed on visiting a photo exhibition in a rather uncanny place. Namely in a centuries-old prison tower, also called “Käfigturm” in German. However, it completely matched because it was all about prisons. The Photographer, Peter Schulthess, obviously has…
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At the bookstore
Around 4. p.m I had a dentist’s appointment. The doctor’s office is located in the heart of the city. Nearby is the best-known shopping street of Lucerne where one can also find the largest bookstore. “Connectography – Mapping the Future of Global Civilization” is the title of the book of my choice. It sounds pretty…
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With the first rays of dawn
A new day has broken, let’s do something. The night has imperceptibly wished goodbye, leaves behind cold air and ruins of thoughts. Now, music gets through to my ears, stimulates my brain waves anew. My thoughts go back and forth. I have the hope of hitting the stop button at the right moment. Memories blurred…
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A torch on the spectrum
Spiritless, but not depressed. Somewhat bored despite exciting people in the area. Have I lost the ability to see the extraordinary in the ordinary? Would that help to rekindle my inner torch? What I am used to has become so familiar. I often forget to be grateful just like that. How can I digest the…
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‘Project Unknown’
Sometimes we just look around all of a sudden. We might have a hunch that once again something unexpectedly enters our life. On a journey with plenty of unknowns, we understandably are looking for security. Insecurity creates anxiety; it does open the floodgates for all sorts of fears. As a child, I kept having an…
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Yes or No? (Or the ever-changing story of ambivalence)
A couple of weeks ago, a closely related man in his seventies asked me once more how many cigarettes I smoke per day by now. I muttered something like: ”Oh, nothing has changed really.” Meaning that I’ve been smoking over two decades, and for the most of it, have been a heavy smoker. For a…
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Lady Storm
Everyday mostly worrisome news from all over the globe gets through to me. I can’t do much about it but to recognize what’s happening and try to figure out what I could change in my life. The feeling that occurs along with it is called Weltschmerz. Experiencing this pain shows me that I’m indeed a sentient…
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Yesterday a monster-today a shrink
If you have a mental illness or you have experienced other heavy problems that affected your mental health, you’ve probably met a psychiatrist. But what the heck is a psychiatrist? They were a kind of monster to me before I first met one in person, meaning that I was scared. Why? Perhaps because he/she would notice something…
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Different Approaches
Currently, I’m looking for some new answers in my view about mental illness. It’s not just a current thing but rather a topic that keeps coming up again and again. This search is especially nourished by the psychotic experiences that I first had at the age of 21. At the core is a pathological, in…
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Spark glow
Oh, the spark of life, glow with all your might. You rise from the mystical universal fire, carried by the heat of the air, into the dark unknown of the night. Lonely, yet as one of many, you become aware of your uniqueness. You shine differently than all the others. That goes for each of…
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Medication? It’s helpful to me. How about you?
It’s early morning at 5.15 a.m. The birds are singing, and finally, it’s warm. A mental illness labeled as schizoaffective disorder is the reason that I’m on a Recovery Journey. It’s a grave disorder, one that even can become life-threatening. The suicide rate among those affected is higher than in the average population. Besides, it…
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Speak out against stigma!
From my personal experience, I really know that stigma is a hindrance. Yet I never had to make such harsh experiences as some of the people in the video at the end of this text. Stigma can make me feel shy when I get in touch with people who aren’t affected by any mental illness or do…
Born under the Sign of the Snake
Born under the Sign of the Snake 